Relationship Building

Sadly, although relationships are the very fabric of the Kingdom of God, the organizations rarely teach us the basic skills of building relationships. It is often true that the guys who hang out at the local bar or tavern are better at building relationships than the folks who attend religious services every week. But, all life changing service to others must cross a bridge of relationship. Godly relationship building begins in love and humility. Love that lets you value each and every person you meet without regard to your personal opinions about his skin color, language, behavior, attitudes, religion, or any other aspect of his character. In 2 Corinthians 5, we are  shown that when the love of Christ constrains us we stopping looking at people from our own prejudices and start looking at them from God’s perspective.

Humility concurrently helps us to remember we do not have a right or duty to make a relationship with any particular person. It allows us to lean back, relax, and let God ordain our relationships. We can gently wait for others to respond. It is God’s job to save the world not ours. We are simply servants to people -- not their saviors and not their masters.

In this context of love and humility, the relationship building process begins when we acknowledge a person and his/her importance. This can be as simple as saying “Thanks” or calling a person by name. We are courteous to important people. We call our friends by name.        

All service to others must cross a bridge of relationship. 

If we get a response that indicates the other person is open to further contact, we might then begin by exchanging information. We can tell a little about our history or background. We can express interest in the other person without probing or asking very personal questions.

As that flow of information develops we begin to recognize the other person’s areas of interest or expertise. We can make more contact in those areas. As we do we can let the other see how we value his/her input into our lives. If, as, and when, the other invites us to help, we can offer to help this person. Thus, the relationship grows over time.

Many of us are accustomed to everything happening fast. Quick relationships have very little strength and are often quick to breakdown. Slow down, God has all eternity to accomplish His purposes. He does not need you to rush people. 

His, thus Yours,

Stuart