Difficult Moments and Difficult People

Beloved songwriter and performer Kari Jobe has a song called "You Steady My Heart".  It focuses on the reality that God has not promised anyone a life without pain and disappointment. Having a steady heart becomes most important when we face the difficult moments and difficult people.

A few days ago I was in a family home sitting around the kitchen table eating one of those memorably great meals.  We were enjoying eating together and being church. As it was getting late in the evening and we were all getting close to the time to head for our homes and our beds, one of the family relatives joined the discussion. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say he exploded into the conversation.  This otherwise very helpful fellow, who had intentionally stayed away from most of our time together, suddenly burst into the conversation with accusations that I was judging him and that the very ideas of personally hearing God and/or that God cares about anyone individually and personally were ludicrous and offensive to him.

I remember how easily I would have cowered into a corner in the face of such an attack not so many years ago.  I remember how I would have been filled with fear and turned that fear to irrational rage. I remember how I would then have systematically set out to shred every idea or argument my perceived opponent set forth.  Then, I would have automatically concluded a person who attacked my "religion" was attacking God himself. It was my job to defend God and all of my cherished doctrines.  It was my job to destroy the infidel.

However, since those days I have discovered that Papa God loves me deeply.  No evil thing can overcome me because God is for me.  I am on God's team and we will always remain undefeated.  So, there is nothing to fear.  With no fear there is no rage arising.  With no rage I can remember Papa deeply loves people, even deeply deceived people.  People who disagree with God are deceived.  Thus, they should receive my compassion not my anger.

So, I set out to try to understand this fellow.  I asked him what I had done that caused him to feel that I was judging him.  When he said things about the religious systems which I knew to be true, I voiced my agreement with him.  When he  got loud and angry I remained calm.  When he was speaking I was listening, really listening not trying to think up my answers.  When he interrupted my talking, I reminded him that I had listened to him.  And, if he wanted to understand my answers he needed to actually hear my complete answer.  When he heard my question about what I had done, he responded with a blast of accusations about what "Christians" are like.  After I listened to him, I reminded him of what my question had been and that he had not answered it.

In the end, he made it clear that he did not want to hear anything from me.  That was fine with me.   I have learned it is impossible to answer questions no one is asking. But, he also came to the point of apologizing to me for accusing me of judging him.  That simple thing was in fact a major concession from an angry man.

But, why was he an angry man?  Simply because he has often endured judgment from people who call themselves "christians".  He has over and over encountered men and women who were very sure they were right.  They were among the many for whom it is more important to be right than it is to be righteous.  Why?  Because they are full of fear.

Remember, "Perfect love casts out all fear."

A person with an experience is never at the mercy of one with an argument.

His, thus Yours,

Stuart