Esau was Stuck

Have you ever found yourself on the floor pounding with your fist crying out to God?  Have you ever been weeping and sobbing, because you knew that something was wrong, but just didn't know how to get it fixed?  Have you ever found yourself inwardly screaming, "God, it's just not fair."?  If so, perhaps you, like me, can identify somewhat with Esau.  The Scriptures tell us that Esau could find no place in which he would repent even though he sought such a place with tears.  Why not?  Why could Esau not find a place of repentance?

Esau, you will recall, was the brother of Jacob.  When he came hungry into their camp, he smelled the food that Jacob was cooking.  Esau, of course, was a very talented man.  He was able to find food for himself.  He was able to prepare his own food.  Esau, however, chose not to do so.  He chose instead to accept the convenience of a meal already prepared by his brother.  So what was wrong with that?  Nothing! The terrible wrong for Esau was not that he accepted a convenient fast food meal.  If his brother had freely offered him the meal, there would have been no problem with God.  Esau, however, had no problem paying as the price for that meal the surrender of the birthright that had been given to him by God.  The crux of Esau's problem was not that he bought a meal.  The crux of the problem was that he despised the gift of God.  He treated that gift as being of no greater value than a fast food meal.  By devaluing the gift, Esau was also devaluing the giver.  The jealous God of the universe does not accept being treated as worth less than a Big Mac with Fries.

Esau's difficulty in finding a place of repentance was not because he failed to understand that he had lost something of value.  Rather, his difficulty was that he failed to recognize the value of God who gave him the birthright originally.  When I was in my 20s, I found myself in a very similar place with the Lord.  Jesus had told me he was going to make me a pastor and teacher in my own home.  He confirmed that word through a prophet who spoke to me.  I was sure that I had understood him clearly.  So, the evening after I had heard the prophetic word I went home to see my wife.  I told her what the Lord had said.  And I proceeded to work diligently to fulfill the word of the Lord.  For all the rest of the time that we were living in Florida, I continued to work diligently.  When it came time for us to move from Florida to Virginia, I found and rented a very large and spacious home.  I was going to use that house to fulfill the word of the Lord.  I tried.  I tried.  I tried some more.  It seemed like God was miraculously intervening to keep the very thing He said would happen from coming to pass.  What was wrong?  What was I doing wrong?  Had I been wrong about what God said?  No, the problem was simply this: I valued the word of the Lord more than I value the Lord of the word.  I heard "make me a pastor and teacher in my own home." But my pride kept me focused on me.  I chose to ignore that Jesus said He would do it.  He would make me.  He would transform me.  He would bring to pass his own work.  I struggled and struggled to put myself in the place of God.

After about two years of this continuing struggle, I finally gave up.  I remember my giving up vividly.  I was literally on my face on the floor in the den of our way too large house.  I was pounding on the floor and crying out to God.  I was saying to God I have done everything that I can do.  Finally, I made the important commitment: I said, "God, if You want this to happen, You will have to do it.  I give up." It was like all of heaven gave a great sigh of relief.  A great peace came over my soul.  I could let go of something that had never belonged to me.  I could come back to value the God of the universe, instead of the word of the Lord.  I could let God be God.  Like Esau, I had valued very highly the thing I wanted to happen.  But, I had despised the value of the God who said He would do it.

A similar dynamic is at work among many people who think of themselves as the church.  Every child of God is given a birthright.  It is the child's birthright to hear directly and personally from the Father God.  Jesus affirms that right when he declares that His sheep hear His voice.  Jesus declares the importance of that birthright in his conversation with Peter.  It was not Peter that Jesus was saying was the foundation upon which he would build his Church.  It was not the revelation that Jesus is the Christ.  Jesus was declaring that the foundation of his Church is that we do not get revelation from flesh and blood but from the Father who is in heaven.  The Scriptures make it clear from beginning to end that Father God desires sons who understand Him when He speaks to them.  If you are a follower of Jesus as Lord, it is your spiritual birthright to personally hear the voice of God regularly, in every circumstance, without any question about being confident in Whom you have heard.

Tragically, every Sunday morning, millions of people who believe they are following Jesus go to a meeting, where they substitute the convenience of hearing someone else preach a message for that which is their birthright, the ability to respond to hearing God personally.  The millions think they are being fed the Bread of Life.  And, for the convenience of a fast food meal, they have traded the value of the God of the universe speaking to them personally.  Esau sought a place of repentance, with tears.  Ironically, most of these millions are not even seeking a place of repentance.  They believe they are living in the very best that God has to offer.  I watched on television as one congregation, sitting in front of a famous preacher, heard him proclaim they do not need to hear God they can hear him.  To this day, I find it amazing that the people in the room did not rise as one and run out.  Millions of people have become so accustomed to devaluing the God of the universe that they are prepared to listen to such blasphemy.

I started pondering these things this morning.  I was thinking about this blog.  And I was asking myself the question: "Are the readers of my blog substituting what I write for their own hearing of the Father?" When I heard myself ask the question, my immediate reaction was that I must stop writing the blog.  But the Lord said to me quite clearly that I am to continue following Him to write the blog.  How then, I asked the Lord, am I to prevent these who read it from substituting my blog for hearing you.  The Father chuckled and said to me, "That's not your problem son that's mine." Once again, I had been nosing around that subtle trap.  The dangerous trap is believing that I must deal with every problem.  Some problems are simply not ours to solve.  They belong to the Father and/or to other people.  But, they don't belong to us.  We must all learn to value god.  And, we must learn not to try to take over His position.

The more we deal with the God of the universe, the more we discover real humility.

His, thus Yours,

Stuart